filled with hope

feelings

a feeling of excitement in my mind
a feeling of love filled my heart
a feeling of nervousness churning in my stomach
the feeling of being blessed by our God
runs throughout my body
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

i can't put how i feel down in words...
since we've been on this process
i've experienced so many different feelings
its true...all things happens for a reason...
its one thing to believe it...
its one thing to be living it...
to experience it..

of all of the feelings i felt/am feeling...
the feeling of being blessed is the strongest
God has blessed me with so much
He places the right people in our life
He has open doors when they are most impactful
He has connected us closer to Him

even though we still have a long journey to go
i feel that we have made step forward
our home study is scheduled for tues...
unsure of what will become of it
a slight fear of rejection lingers in my mind
but the feeling of excitements prevails...

+ + + + + + + + + + + 

12/8: determined to complete our required document... i came home and being to clean aka "staged" our house to take pictures... we learned how to use the camera to our advantage...
mission accomplished: submitted our pictures...

12/9: received a call from the home study lady!!! hip hip hooray...
we love our adoption agency and our case worker...she is so awesome...
we just submitted our pictures and we received a call the very next day...
our home study is scheduled for tuesday dec 14...so later that evening...
we ordered the crib...simple, nice and clean...

 

this is the bedding we like...bananafish love birds bedding...its so cute yet not too girlie or pink...and it fits our semi theme of birds around our house

 12/11 received emails from a few of the foster/adoption parents we met during the PRIDE classes

it is nice to have a support system...someone to share the journey with and understands what you are feeling because they are on the same journey

hopes to move forwards

paperwork submitted,
classes completed,
almost ready for our homestudy...

+++++++++++++++++++++

12/5/10 - i met a couple who heard we were adopting...
she continues to share that she had adopted all 4 of her children
and that they were adopted through the same agency that we are going through...
what a small world...

perhaps it's not a small world but God answering prayers
God hears the cries in my heart and calmed my fears...
what if there isn't any infant for us to adopt
what if we can't handle any special needs the child may have
what if we won't be good catholic parents

constantly running through my heads are what if's,

the mom was a classmate of my husband who is also going through RCIA
she innocently brought me new hope...
all of her children were adopted as infants, one as young as 2 days old
the children had drug/ alcohol influences at birth, yet they are all healthy children
i learned that this mix faith family has (so far) successfully raised 4 catholic children

as we continue on this journey some my excitements has turned into fears...
and in one experience, God has turned my fears into hope...

with all of my (renewed) hopes
i eagerly await to move forward....